Magazines in America are getting very aggressive in their attempts to get you eye. A trip to the grocery store is like a leisurely stroll in a mine field. The worst thing about magazines are the covers that use airbrushed women get grab your attention. The problem is that once you see it, it’s in your brain.
I do three things in the grocery store. First, I avoid the magazine aisle if at all possible. I find that for me it’s better to not go there to begin with. Second, if I have to go to the aisle then I look at the ceiling, the floor or the cart that I’m pushing. Lastly, the checkout aisle. I look at candy, the scanner, the cashier’s face, the card reader, the stuff in the cart. The key for me is looking at anything other than the magazine covers.
When you see someone who you are tempted to lust over pray for them (while looking away). Think of them as someone’s wife, husband, son or daughter and a child of God. Pray for their well-being and their salvation. When we pray it helps us stop objectifying them and starts the process of wishing them the best.
I was reminded yesterday in church of a fire drill I use from time to time. It involves controlling my eyes in church. There is no question that church is the most difficult place that I struggle with objectifying women.
The tip is this. If you wear glasses than take them off. In my case the loss if clear vision is enough to get me back on track. There are some blessings to getting older!
If you use reading glasses than putting them on can help.
If neither of these will work for you then move to a different seat or switch seats with someone else.
This is a great acronym to learn. It tells you when you are most likely to be tempted and when you are most likely to give in.
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Stressed
Hungry? Eat.
Angry…what’s bugging you? Think about it and deal with the issue in a Godly, productive way.
Lonely. Call a friend. Make a friend. Be a friend to someone. Plug in a and serve the Lord somewhere.
Tired. Get some sleep.
Stressed. Talk about it. Call your accountability partner.
This almost sounds too obvious to say but there are so many better solutions for these issues that sexual sin. Although sexual sin helps you feel good short term, in the long run…it’s just a deeper hole.
Here is another one that I hear quite a few guys do. When they travel some guys are tempted to watch the bad stuff on TV or go out to strip bars or worse. How they deal with this is to line up brother ahead of time to check in with by phone. For some guys it may be first thing in the evening and then later at night. For other guys check in frequency may be every few days. It all depends on the guy, his struggles and the trip.
The key is having a brother who know you and who cares for you to check in with. It doesn’t have to be the Spanish inquisition, just some gentle questions:
How was your day?
What else are you doing on this trip?
How did your meeting go?
Feeling tempted?
What’s you plan if the temptation hits later tonight?
I’ll be at home tonight but I’ll keep my phone on for you.
Easy thing to do that can make a huge difference.
Hey…here is a real easy fire drill that just takes a little forethought. I know a guy who used to watch x-rated videos. Now that he is clean and sober he no longer does that. Problem is that he travels. Even being in a hotel with a working television is a temptation.
His solution? Duct tape! First thing he does when he gets in the room is unplugs the TV and wraps the plug in duct tape…lot’s of duct tape! Seems to be a good deterrent for him. Now when he is tempted it’s so much effort to get the TV on it stops him cold!
Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker and Mike Yorkey in their book Every Man’s Battle describe a strategy they call “Bouncing your eyes.” It has been a very helpful idea for me. The basic idea is to “train” your eyes to automatically react and look away from your temptations. Remember last week’s email on fire drills? This is really just a specific kind of fire drill for your eyes.
You start out by identifying a situation that tempts you, for instance, a jogger on the side of the road. Decide now that you are going to look some other direction. I look at the lines on the road, the other side, the car in front of me or even the rear view mirror. The key here is you look anywhere (safely please) other than the jogger.
Wait a minute! The first look is free right? No. Wrong. Negative. Never! That idea is sheer nonsense invented by a lustful, deceitful heart. If it’s lust, then the first look is never free. It’s the start of a process that leads to full blown sin.
You gotta practice! This is like lifting weights, the longer you train the more you can lift. Don’t expect to be Arnold Schwarzenegger on the first try! The first time your brain is going to scream, it’s gonna hate not looking. You’ve got to keep at it and practice. It gets better with practice.
If you do this enough it becomes an automatic reflex. The other day I had a situation where the gal on TV bent over right in front of the camera. I am certain that the only reason the shot was in the show was to sex it up. It was after my eyes automatically jerked to the other side of the TV before seeing anything that I realized “Hey, I didn’t even have to think about that, my eyes looked away automatically.” Persistence pays off!
Restaurants. Two things not going for restaurants – waitresses and customers! Suggestions:
When you are seated scope out the surroundings. If there is a temptation issue around you choose a seat at the table that give you the edge – one with you back to that person.
Choose a seat that places your back toward the high traffic area.
Look Only At The Head.
Really simple. Decide now to loath the person that gives is a temptation.
Look Only At The Head.
Lots of guys agree that church is a really tough place to be. Women (and men) are usually dressed to look their best and on their best behavior. If you attend a church with open backed chairs than you will find that thongs can be a problem. Our culture has really slipped in regard to what women wear.
Here are some ideas on how to handle church:
- Choose to sit close to the beginning of service. If you sit down 15 minutes before service than you have very little control over who sits in front of you. Sitting down right when it begins usually give you the ability to choose where to sit and who is in front of you.
- Sit on the front row.
- Take your glasses off.
- If someone is in front of you that is a problem – get up and go to the back.
- Sit in a place where you are not in a high traffic area.
